


hypochondriac

by sherberto



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Cry with me, F/M, No beta we die like lilith, Romance, Sad Ending, im just sad now, self-harm and depression mentioned briefly, tragedy lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherberto/pseuds/sherberto
Summary: Humans are like candles. Once the flame is gone, it doesn't light up again.The demons learn what it's like to be human, and why being a human is better.[Depictions of self-harm and depression, so proceed at your own risk.]
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Beelzebub/Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	1. purple hyacinth - lucifer

**Author's Note:**

> i have commitment issues and i can't write my A3 fic right now so here you go, pure sadness that comes from me not wanting to finish my biology project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purple hyacinth, the flower most commonly used to symbolize regret. A bouquet of purple hyacinth expresses the bearer's sadness over a situation and asks for forgiveness.

The Avatar of Pride. Proud as he was, he never liked bowing down to others. His consciousness of his own dignity refused to let him ask for anything. He had everything he needed, and he was proud of his achievements. 

But now, he only wanted one thing, and his pride was no longer important if that thing could be returned.

He stood at the tombstone, setting down a bunch of purple hyacinths. The flowers definitely added a little bit of life to the drab tombstone. He found it ironic how he tried bringing life to a place as dark as the Devildom. Basically, Hell. The spirits that roamed the abandoned yard sped past him, since they were used to his almost-daily visits.

He let himself be at ease when he plopped himself onto the damp grass. He took out a bottle of wine, and a carton of apple juice. 

"Cheers," he smiled bitterly, chugging the contents of the bottle down. The alcohol burned his throat, but he didn't care. _What kind of pain was this compared to the one she felt?_

He rested his tired body against the stone slab, closing his eyes as he tried not to think about anything. His time with her was more precious than anything. He sighed as the memories they made resurfaced, burning into his mind like they just happened yesterday.

"Rae. Do you remember the time we spent together in my study?"

No one responded. Of course, he expected no one to reply, but he didn't want to let that reality sink in. He _was_ the very entity that symbolized pride.

"I remember. Every single detail. Your eyes and the way the lit up every time we go on a mini excursion. Your nose when it scrunches up to the smell of broccoli. Your lips and how soft they were when we kissed. Your cheeks when they were full of strawberry cake. Your smile and the way the ends of your mouth crinkled. Your hair when I held you closer to me, and how nice you smelled. Your neck and the way it seemed to be the best place to rest my head. Your hands and the way they seemed to melt into mine. Your body and how small you were, when I hugged you in my sleep. Your words that changed me. You. I remember you, Rae."

He shuddered at the thought of her being by his side. How lovely that would have been.

He remembered the first time he had met the girl. Quiet, yet her presence was loud enough for everyone in the room to turn heads. Stubborn, but her perseverance fixed his family. Loving, and **warm**.

He was confused as the two got closer. Why was he feeling content just looking at her? Why couldn't he stand the sight of his brothers clinging onto his human? Of course, he was already caught in her trap.

But a human? His pride couldn't accept it. Just a mere human couldn't move his heart. But the small human proved otherwise. Somehow, the human he couldn't bear to love had found her way into the middle of his chest, piercing him with every move she made.

He reveled in the thought of how he found her in her room. Unmoving, but beautiful. Pale, yet shining. The small window in her ceiling let a little bit of the Moon's brightness shine on her lifeless face. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he had set his eyes upon. But he knew he was too late. He had failed once again. He couldn't save Lilith, and he couldn't save her.

A single tear rolled down from his crimson eyes. 

He knew that she was hiding things from him. Even though they were close, he had no right to force answers out of her since neither belonged to each other. He spent as much time as she could with her every day. He smiled and talked to her whenever he could, thinking that she would eventually open up to him. But she never did.

Her last words to him were just a simple "I love you." But he couldn't say it back. A demon falling in love with a human was unheard of, and he hated himself for not wanting to admit it. The hurt in her eyes when he said nothing to her confession. The way she continued smiling even though he had just broken her heart. Lucifer just couldn't get it out of his head.

He ran his hand through his hair, not caring if other demons saw him. Lucifer the Avatar of Pride was no more. His pride had led him to this fate, and he knew it. He felt himself dozing off while dreaming of the times he cherished with his beloved.

**"Hey Lucifer," a girl looks up from her D.D.D. screen, catching the attention of a certain demon.**

**"What is it?" he flips through the stack of papers he got from the Prince's aide. As much as he wanted to slam the papers into Diavolo's face, he couldn't. He owed Diavolo _too much_ , after all.**

**"I really like spending time together with you."**

**"And why is that?" the oldest demon set his papers down onto the table, resting his chin in his hands. He often found himself thinking of how the girl in front of him functioned. _What kind of thoughts were there in such a tiny head?_**

**"Because. There's no reason. I just like it," she smiled brightly, causing the demon in question to frown. "So let's spend all our time together."**

**"Forever?" he lifted an eyebrow up, feeling his cheeks turn pink.**

**"Forever."**

Lucifer smiled sadly. _Being immortal means nothing if you're not with me._


	2. pink rose - mammon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark pink roses are beautiful, and they mean gratitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mind me i'm just having another depressive episode, and sorry for the late update.
> 
> i wasn't feeling up to it these few days, and homework's been taking a toll on me. but here's Mammon's version. his is kinda long (actually, it's long).

Scumbag. Worthless. Money-crazed idiot. Mammon wasn't new to being looked down on by all his brothers, but it still hurt.

**"Mammon! Why did you do it?"**

**"I didn't. I'm tellin' ya! I didn't do it!"**

**"Lies! You're always stealing from people! You definitely took my wallet."**

**"I never did that..."**

Life went on like that, and everyone didn't seem to mind how they were treating him like the lowest lowlife in the Devildom. Not like any of them cared. Until she came. 

The human was weird. She was always happy. Smiling like a goof, and befriending everyone. Demons were 'fun' and 'interesting' to her, and she wanted to know more about every single one of them. Even Mammon was captivated by her sheer determination to make everyone happy.

He was curious to why she never stopped smiling. 

"I just like the thought of being happy.."

Mammon was interested. Invested, and sold. No other human had made him so flustered, and no one had ever brushed him off so easily (he was still sulking over how she refused to pay Levi back in his stead.)

But the human caught his eye for other reasons as well. She was too pretty to be called a human, but too innocent to be called a demon. 

She was strong, and witty. She knew the right things to say at the right time. Before he knew it, she had already taken up 93% of Mammon's thoughts, much to his dismay. 

**_"It-It's not like I l-like you t-that much anyway, y-you human!"_ **

**_"Noted. I'm going to snuggle with Levi if you're done with your pity talk."_ **

**_"OI! Come back here you..."_ **

Being a human, Mammon felt like she wasn't good enough. Until she defended him from her brothers and made a pact with him. Mammon felt like he was saved from being at the bottom, and the human was the one he owed it to. It was a day like any other. Something happened, and Mammon had just come back from being bashed by his brothers, and the human was there to comfort him.

**"So what if they think you suck? They don't know what they're missing, and just for your ears, I kinda like having you to myself," the girl winked, planting a small peck on his cheek.**

Mammon felt his whole world change. It wasn't just about him anymore. It was him and his human.

Love? Maybe.

Life was perfect, and he didn't want it any other way. He was happy just being able to be near his human, and cherished their memories together.

As the seasons changed, so did Mammon. He didn't care about how others viewed him, and stood up for himself whenever he was wrongly accused. His brothers couldn't do anything to him since their favorite human was always on Mammon's side.

The human was acting strange, though. At one moment, she smiled like she had just heard the funniest thing, but seconds later there would be no emotions on her face. She became tired and hungry, probably due to spending too much time with the twins. She complained that her back ached, and she constantly had migraines. She became busier and busier, and Mammon rarely saw her around. 

Something was wrong, and everyone could tell. But no one said anything. Mammon, being the most direct one, immediately pried for an answer. 

"Don't worry, I've got it handled."

And just like that, she left.

The human he had so desperately wanted by his side was gone, in a blink of an eye.

Mammon often wondered what life would have been like if she hadn't left. Would they be happier, or would she have fallen deeper and deeper into her despair?

"Don't blame yourself if something happens to me," was the first thing the girl said when she had been in a pretty life-threatening experience with some demons who thought she'd look perfect on their buffet menu.

He reluctantly agreed, but he had promised her. And he never wanted to do anything that would hurt his human's feelings.

He went into her room, and switched up the wilted flowers in the yellow vase with some pink roses. The dark color of the pink was the human's favorite color, and she looked the best in pink too.

He buried himself in her blankets as he thought of the day she left. 

It was an ordinary day. The human was out somewhere. She was always out, looking for new places to explore. Her room was filled with pictures of the places she discovered, but one day the photos stopped. She just wanted to take a break.

Mammon was being nosy, as usual. He had run out of money, and he had to pay Levi back before he was turned into Henry 2.0's food. He waltzed into the human's room, looking for 'valuable' stuff. But one could only wonder what value he saw in a worn-out notebook that looked like it could crumble at the slightest touch.

[RAE'S BOOK. KEEP OUT.]

 _Stupid human and their stupid privacy rules._ Not like it stopped him from taking a small peek. He swore that he'd take just a tiny glance at what the human was thinking.

 _Maybe she wrote about how she l-lo-love- ah, forget it!_ Mammon felt himself turning red and told his heart to cool it with the irregular beating. He cleared his throat and flipped the book open with a toothy grin.

But what Mammon saw was completely different to what he imagined.

**[Why am I here? Oh right, I was summoned here. It's just a year. You'll do better than before. New people, new life.]**

**[Why can't I do anything right? I just need time. I want to do better. But why can't I improve?]**

**[Why am I so useless? I keep making trouble for them. They're busy enough. Maybe I'm just dramatic.]**

**[What am I even doing? I just want to give up. But I can't.]**

**[Maybe I'm just tired. I just need.. to rest. I slept early and woke up late, but why do I feel so exhausted?]**

**[I'm hanging there. I'm surviving. At least I haven't died.]**

**[I'm frustrated. I hate how I can't fix this.]**

**[Others have it worse. I don't deserve to complain. Just suck it up. You'll get through it somehow.]**

**[Maybe I just need to get out for a bit. I went out with Asmodeus and Satan, so why am I still sad?]**

**[I just need to talk it out. But I have nobody to call. Who would listen to me anyway?]**

**[It's only a phase. It's a phase. A phase.]**

Mammon's hands were shaking as he flipped to the next page, a tear smudging the ink.

**[I watched a movie with Asmo today. My favorite part of the song the characters sung is this:**

**I close my eyes and feel myself fly a thousand miles away. I could take flight, but would it be right? My conscience tells me stay.]**

Next page.

**[I think I'm broken.]**

Two more pages to go.

**[When it's time, just let me die.]**

Last page.

**[I'm free.]**


End file.
